Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Confrontation Avoidance


Do you know anyone that has been dumped by email?! Perhaps it's happened to you - especially if you are from the younger generation. If there was ever a communication that deserved a face to face hearing or at least a phone call, it would be a break up. But not these days. Why? Because it would mean confronting another human and having to deal with the others hurt, anger or displeasure. People will avoid that sort of situation these days. Avoiding the conflict because you don’t want to face it is never the answer and if you perpetuate the habit then your emotional intelligence growth will be on pause until you do start engaging. See a blog I wrote about Emotional Intelligence.
Confrontation or conflict situations are going to happen, not only in social situations, but also in the workplace. And if they are not dealt with or constantly avoided then the problem will persist, grow and cause damage both emotionally and financially. In this article we will deal with how to avoid the conflict situations in the first place, and in a subsequent article we will deal with how to deal with the conflicts when they arise.
So, by far the best method of conflict minimisation is to stop it happening in the first place. Certain office environments are more susceptible to conflict than others – a sales office over a library! – and every situation is different. However here are a few tips that should help avoid conflict and confrontation between humans in an office situation:
1. Establish behavioural ground rules within the office such as: no harmful gossiping, no negative comments unless in private with your immediate superior (ie not at the water cooler), no swearing etc. Some things are just better left unsaid. Promote a positive stance that is infectious.
2. Spot trouble early – if you can see that a person is concerned about something then pick your moment to respectfully ask if all is OK and if they would like to take some time out in a private room to discuss anything. Sometimes people just need to be given the opportunity to release. As humans we have the ability to be perceptive and intuitive if we want to. Engage with your ‘inner rudder’ and ask the question. The worse that can happen is that nothing is wrong and the person will probably appreciate the caring attitude.
3. Screen potential employees carefully at the interview stage to make sure they are a good fit culturally within the organisation or team. One bad choice can affect whole teams or departments and cause untold damage. Use psychometric testing or handwriting analyses (see my blog on this topic for more information) to establish a candidates’ motivational drivers, stress endurance, interactional challenges and other behavioural characteristics. You could also check on their social behaviours via social network sites as well as invite them out for a few drinks with the team in a more relaxed setting than the interview room. Any worrisome behaviours may show up in a less formal environment.
4. Step back and pause. When you sense a conflict about to occur, using insight and taking a step back from the situation can help prevent the conflict or lessen its consequences. Many times, conflict occurs because people approach a given situation from a "hot-headed" perspective, automatically assuming that the other person will be on the attack and unwilling to hear their point of view. Thinking about what you want to say to the other person without becoming aggressive or demanding can help prevent a heated conflict.
5. Keep communication channels open. Have regular team and individual meetings to reinforce what the company expects of the employee and to listen to what is important to the employee. Potential issues can be spotted early and dealt with in a calm and controlled environment rather than spiralling out of control or affecting the whole team by spreading.
Conflict is unavoidable but its chances of occurrence can be minimised by proactive actions and procedures. Hope they help.

This article has been published in the Master Builders NSW magazine and the Building Economist magazine produced by the Australian Institute of Quantity Surveyors.

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